Breeze (The Mighty Queertet: Story 3)
Chapter 14: Icy Breeze by Victory Thru Tears
Disclaimer: Don’t get mad… I’ve already been beaten black and blue by Charlie for this. But remember, it’s MY story… so I’ll do what I want… that is, if Star gives me permission. Read on, and hate me *sad look*
“Charlie…” I start, but he cuts me off by placing a kiss on my lips.
“Charlie,” I say a bit louder as he pulls away.
“Shh!” He whispers to me. “Don’t wake up Guy.”
“Charlie, please. I told you before.”
“Told me what before?” He stands to slip his shirt off.
“That I can’t be around you anymore.”
“Yes, that you did, but you never gave me a reason. Therefore, I’m going to disregard it.” He crawls under the covers and presses his body against me. He’s really cold. He’s probably been outside.
I turn to look at the clock. 3:23 a.m. Perfect.
“Seriously. I don’t think I can do this right now.”
“Do what?” He asks innocently, kissing my shoulder.
“This. You. Everything.”
Charlie pulls away with a sigh. He puts his hands behind his head and lays on his back.
“Fine. Then let’s talk. What do you want to talk about? Taz? Well guess what. I don’t want to be friends with her anymore. Not if it means losing you. You hear that? I’m choosing you over her. Is that what you want to hear?”
He pauses for a moment, staring at the ceiling.
“Don’t take that last part the wrong way. Everything I just said is true. I love you, Adam David Banks.”
I sigh to myself. He’s even used the middle name. How can I do this to him now?
“And I love you, Charles Joseph Conway.”
A grin comes to his face. I haven’t told him that in about three weeks, and it was probably bothering him.
My voice cracks as I try to speak again. “But—”
The smile is replaced by a frown. “No… no buts, no buts…”
“Charlie, I can’t do this anymore.”
“What do you mean? What can’t you do?”
“Be with you.”
“What? Wh… why? Wh… I… What?”
“I don’t know why. I don’t understand it. But being in bed with you right now, being around you, just… you don’t feel right for me.” I sit up, but he pulls me back down. He moves his arms on either side of me, and looks into my eyes pleadingly.
“You can’t be serious.”
“I am.” And I truly mean it. I feel my heart break for the millionth time in my life as one of his tears drips onto my face.
“But… you just said that you loved me!” He accuses me.
Guy stirs. I hope he isn’t waking up.
“I do. I love you so much, I just… I can’t do something that doesn’t feel right to me. And you can’t deny that things are weird between us. Not just because of Taz, but because we’ve actually grown too close. We’re almost the same person. I can’t very well date myself.” I move him over to sit next to him.
“You’re just making up bullshit excuses. How can you give up on this? We’ve had it for two years. Doesn’t that mean anything to you?” He asks angrily. I wish he would wipe away his tears. I can’t stand to see them pouring down his face like that.
“You gave up months ago. It was my turn.” I say simply. He chokes out a sob, and makes a move to get up.
“No. You can stay here. I’ll go to the couch.” I grab a pillow from the bed, and walk out of the room.
Once situated on the couch, I try to sort through what had just happened. Why did I just do that? He’s right—those were bullshit excuses. I don’t want to be apart from him, I love him more than anything in the world. What the hell is wrong with me? Am I so full of pride that I’m going to hurt the one person that truly cares about me? I wipe my eyes, drying them of the tears that are threatening to spill out. What is going on in my head? I don’t even know anymore. I just don’t understand the pang of emotion I feel whenever I see or hear Charlie. I can’t tell if its love, pain, jealousy, anger, sadness… I don’t know how to feel anymore. The worst part is that I don’t fucking know why. He’s obviously trying to redeem himself, and how did I fucking repay him? By breaking up with him… by fucking breaking up with him!
Adam Banks, you are one big fucking idiot.