Cabin Fever

Chapter 3: Jesse’s POV by meme

Things have settled down now, Adam and Charlie went for a drive into town to pick up some last minute snacks for the rest of the week, the caretaker of the cabin only stocked the cupboard with healthy nutritious food when he heard we were coming, since we are into really healthy lifestyle and we even follow a diet from to keep good health. Kory followed them, I guess she didn‘t want to stay here without Charlie. And Portman and Fulton have finally stopped fighting, for now anyway. It’s quiet for the moment, Goldberg and Averman are in the kitchen polishing off the last of the Oreos Goldie had stored in his duffle, Taz and Maya taking their turn in the hot tub, Annie’s sitting at the bottom of the stairs trying to send Luis telepathic messages across the room and Portman’s sitting in a chair in front of the fire place reading.

I swear I leave the team for a few years and everything went straight to hell. I can’t remember when the Bash Brothers went from best friends to lovers, then to hating each other. I’m not sure when Banks and Charlie became the world’s idea of the perfect gay couple, or even when any of them met the adorable girls that have come to be their good friends. It makes me feel a little left out that I’d been separated from the group so long, but it was my own choice. I can understand to a small degree how Kory feels though, I’ve been feeling uncomfortable around them today. Of course I don’t feel as uncomfortable as she does, these are in fact my friends and I’ve known them for years.

But being away from the team does have one benefit, I can see things clearer almost like I’m someone on the outside. Like nobody’s supposed to notice that the Bash Brothers are obviously still completely infatuated with one another, no matter how hard they try to convince themselves otherwise. I never knew Fulton was afraid to fly either, when I heard that on the plane it was news to me. But I was just talking to him a few minutes ago and he told me ‘I’m not afraid of flying, I’m afraid of what will happen to my body when it hits the ground at that speed.’ That I can totally agree with.

I can tell that Banksie and Captain Conway aren’t as happy and in love as they pretend to be. Luis has come a long way from the cocky, suave girlfriend-stealing kid we met at the beginning or the Goodwill Games, having a strictly platonic relationship with a beautiful girl and the two year relationship he had with his ex, Mindy, he’s grown up. Goldberg and Averman however never change, they’re still buttheads. Though I’ve never known Averman to not like someone, the way he doesn’t like Taz. She just brings out the worst in our resident jokester. I don’t really know the girls real well but I’ve picked up on some things about them as well.

Firstly the little purple haired one is scary but her girlfriend is so mellow she balances her out and you can tell they’re as much in love as Charlie and Adam pretend to be. Annie is hot, when you think of your typical blonde cheerleader she’s what you imagine but as soon as she opens her mouth you know she’s not just a stereotype, she can actually walk and chew gun at the same time. Then there’s Kory, she’s the hardest to get, she hasn’t said more to me then ‘Can you pass the ketchup?’ at dinner. She seems like she doesn’t want to spend the entire week alone but doesn’t want to start a conversation with anyone, like she’s afraid to. Then you see how she looks at Annie and know she’s hoping to leave the cabin next week with a new friend. Lastly there’s the evident battle between her and Taz to be the receiver of Charlie’s attention.

With a content sigh I flop onto the couch and close my eyes, the fire place is crackling and the house is quiet. It’ll be nice to just relax. I feel a weight shake the couch and look up to see Luis has moved from the floor to the arm of the couch, still with an intense look of concentration on his face. I’m starting to wonder if my boy’s lost it, or he’s just humoring that Annie girl. I close my eyes again, squiggle further into the cushion and am just about to take a power nap when a door slams upstairs.

Fulton comes thundering down the staircase, nostrils flaring like a raging bull. I’m not exactly sure what has got him in such a tizzy, but I’ll put five on the idea that Portman did or didn’t do something. It’s a good thing Annie isn’t using all of her energy to mentally contact Luis and is paying enough attention to know when to move out of the smaller Bash Brother’s way. Personally I feel if she hadn’t he would’ve trampled over her without stopping. However now he’s standing in front of Portman waving his arms like a lunatic with what looks like paper in his hand.

“It’s bad enough I have to room with you, but you could at least have the courtesy to keep your smut out of my view.” With that he hurls a magazine at his ex’s head.

The magazine scarcely misses connecting with Portman’s skull before bouncing off the wall behind him and fluttering to the floor. Dean’s face lifts from the books he’s been reading and his eyes narrow.

“What are you yelling your fool head off about this time?”

“Keep your porn out of my room.”

“Firstly our room, secondly porn? What the hell are you talking about?” Portman snorts and leans over the arm of the chair to see what was thrown at him. “Sports Illustrated Fulton? Come on now that’s hardly porn. And it’s not mine.”

Luis gets up off the arm of the chair and fetches the magazine that Fulton had just chunked. “Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue, this is mine.”

“Then how did it get in our room. Walk?” Fulton crosses his arms.

“Taz took it away from me on the plane, she said it objectifies girls. She musta hid it in your room or something.”

“Once again you jumped to conclusions rather than just asking me what’s going on. If you had, you would know that’s not mine.” Portman cracks his knuckles and puts his book on the floor.

“Oh stuff it, Portman!” Fulton snaps.

“Believe me I’d love too, but we’re broken up remember.”

Annie, Luis and I all stifle giggles, point Dean Portman. He can be pretty spiteful when he’s mad, and funny too. It would almost be amusing if it weren’t a constant thing. Well no I take that back, this is funny right now, but if I have to deal with much more of it I will be forced to kill them both and burn the evidence in the fireplace. I think with the way it’s annoying everyone else nobody would turn me.

Fulton scowls and spits out. “Bite me.”

“Been there, done that.”

Suddenly we hear a girl’s voice and look up to see not Taz but Maya with a frustrated look on her face.

“Enough with the sexual allusions and childish arguing. Either make up or shut up because we’ve only been here seven hours and I’m already sick of it.”

I like that girl, I really do, she got them to shut up for five minutes. Too bad she’s a lesbian. Wipes away a tear. Just kidding, she’s cool and all but she’s not my type. Plus there’s the fact I have a girlfriend back home that would kill me if I even looked at someone else. But I am going to have to repay her somehow for that, maybe I’ll be her slave for the day or something, I’ll do it for the rest of the week if she can keep them quiet tomorrow too.

Charlie, Banks and Kory just walked in carrying grocery bags, lucky them missed out on the latest Bash Brother spat. But as soon as they enter the living room there’s another scene, this one involving Taz. The tiny girl is still sopping wet from her little adventure in the hot tub and vaults full speed at Charlie, who in turn lowers the grocery’s he’s carrying to brace for the collision with her.

“Charles, I missed you!” She leaps at him, nearly toppling him over.

Charlie puts her down, revealing the soggy imprint she left on the front of his shirt. “I was only gone like an hour Tazzie, I’m sure Maya kept you occupied for that hour.”

“I’ve been cooped up in here all day and you know how I get when I’m cooped up, plus you brought her with you.”

Kory shifts the bag she’s balancing on her hip and I wonder if she knows that their talking about her. I know she didn’t hear what was said, but if she read Taz’s lips there may be trouble. I’m not sure what kind of trouble, I mean from what I’ve seen of her she’s pretty mild mannered, but Charlie says she knows martial arts. I think if this jealous thing between them ever gets to a violent stage Kory would cream the other girl. Fortunately she simply shakes her head and goes into the kitchen to unpack.

I hope this ‘I’m Charlie’s best friend.’ crap gets over soon though. Between them and Portman and Fulton we could be a cheesy reality series. Thankfully the girls haven’t actually bickered, they’re just being cool to each other. I cannot wait to get out of this cabin and hit the slopes. By the end of the this I’m going to need to seek therapy.

We all hear glass breaking and look into the kitchen doorway to see Averman with a bottle in his hand and a shattered one at his feet, along with a deep red liquid that’s staining both his sneakers and the floor. Goldberg pops up behind, with two more identical bottles in his hands.

“Hey Banksie, did you know your grandpa has a wine cellar under the kitchen?” Averman asks as Annie jumps up and runs to a towel to sop up the wine that was now running all over the floor.

“Yeah, the door’s in the back of the pantry.” Banks nods.

“You knew there was liquor in the house and didn’t tell us?” Taz rolls her eyes and reaches for one of the bottles Goldie’s holding, before Charlie catches her around the waist and tosses her over his shoulder.

Goldberg smiles holding the bottle out in Taz’s direction and pulling it away right before she can grab it. “I say we pop the cork on one of these and get the party started.”

“And I say Averman cleans up the glass that’s now all over the floor, since he dropped it.” Charlie declares. “And whiles he’s doing that, I’ll find the corkscrew.”

Banks’ face sours but he says nothing, I guess he’s a little nervous about the thought of twelve drunk teenagers around all this expensive stuff. But it’s just us, really what can go wrong?

The Girl, Official stalker of Carla, Tangible Muse and Bod Who Generally Fixes the Mean Nasty Coding That Makes Carla Cry (After Having Broken It In The First Place)

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